The Questions

Four year olds ask questions. They ask a lot of questions. Questions that I just sometimes don't have the answer to. Like why does Scooby Doo talk but Charlie (our dog) doesn't? Why are some people mean? Why do I have to grow up?

Many of the pressing questions Jilly asks I can make up some pretty funny answers that seem to satisfy her. Or she just rolls her eyes and tells me I'm silly.

But lately there has been more and more questions and comments about her heart.

Like....."why is my heart broken?"

How do you answer that question?

I've come up with some various explanations that a 4 year old can comprehend. But the question continues. It is like she knows more, she knows I know more. That old soul in her has figured out that there is more to the story and she wants answers.

She asked me just this morning "Mom, do you have a big heart?" I showed her how big my heart is with my hands. She put her hands together and said "my heart is about this big huh?" And I said yes. Then she said "when I was a little baby it was even smaller huh?" And I said yes, it was smaller. Then she went on to talk about where her heart is in her chest. She got concerned there for a minute because she couldn't find it. So I showed her where it is and she felt better that she had found it and it was still "bump, bumping".

Later, on the drive to school. She said "Mom? My heart is fixed right?" Again, how does she come up with stuff and how the hell am I supposed to answer her? So I said "yes honey, why".

"cause the doctor used my zipper to get in there to fix my heart....and my heart is so little.....how did he fix it?"

So I said the only thing I could think of at that moment....I said "very carefully".

That satisfied her for a moment.

After thinking for a bit she said "well that's good, I wouldn't want him to break it more."

Me either baby, me either.